Friday, June 22, 2007

does anyone else ever feel this way? or is it just me?

“In her daily experience with a child, a mother’s time is not her own. She has to respond constantly to unclear verbal and preverbal demands from her child. Often she has no idea what to do, many times no good solution is available, so she’ll suffer guilt and anxiety no matter what she does. The child constantly explores the boundaries of her patience and power. When the child’s control lapses, her own control is required. She must consider using force on a helpless human being who sometimes invades her bodily privacy and psychological integrity like a monstrous, consuming enemy. She deals with the world of child rearing, where hundreds of experts give contradictory advice; the outcome can’t be measured for fifteen to twenty years. She has to process this advice through her intuition and a constant stream of her own childhood memories dredged up by her child’s dilemmas. And she must do all this with others - mother, mother-in-law, neighbors and school teachers - looking over her shoulder, marking her report card, measuring her against their own standards. Though it would be a relief to give up and follow some set of packaged rules, she must dare to be different - the fate of her child depends on her decisions. Besides, no set of rules seems exactly right.”

-Roger Gould, MD


Anonymous said...

we ALL feel this way at times. Depending on your child sometimes we feel this way MORE often than
I do know I have a strong willed child who was trying to run my house at age 2! There are tons of opinions out there but ONE I have found that has saved my sanity is Dr. James Dobson!! He's our hero in our

Anonymous said...

well that pretty much covers it huh?