Someone asked me the other day how school was and said since they hadn't read anything on my blog lately, they were assuming it was better...
Yeah, not so much.
It's better. But still not great. Still not what I would consider good most of the time. We're making progress, but I feel like it's a 2 steps forward, 1 step back kind of thing. And sometimes we just completely forget anything we've ever learned about following directions. We're having more moments of fun, more moments of loving what I do, but still lots of moments where I feel like the grouchiest teacher ever.
I was spoiled last year. I had a great bunch of kids. My friend Kristi (who teaches 2nd grade) was telling me just the other day what a delightful class she has. Many of my old kiddos.
There was also more going on at school than just my class. Non-bloggable stuff. Incredibly stressful stuff. Stuff dealing with friendships, honesty, trust. Stuff that still isn't completely resolved and relationships that will never be the same. This, combined with my class, was pushing me a little over the edge.
But I was slapped in the face with a dose of reality when I stopped to think about the lives of some of my friends. Emergency surgeries, cancer, brain surgery, parents going in for routine outpatient surgery and nearly dying, children with serious illnesses, divorce, a 30 year old husband and father tragically killed, having to attend 4 family funerals in 2 weeks... I suddenly felt very guilty as I was hit with a "what am I complaining about" attitude. Very humbling. I have a husband who loves me. Two sweet and healthy children. Family and friends who care about me and support me. I am very blessed. Too blessed to be stressed. (although I may have to keep reminding myself of that.)
I was also humbled the other day when I stopped to pray for my students. Each one of them, by name. Thinking about each of them and the things some of them have experienced in their 6 years... divorce, abuse, neglect, hunger. Learning how to read is low on their list of priorities right now. Again, very humbling. A friend encouraged some of us at the beginning of the year to remember that each of these children were put in our class for a certain reason. God knew what He was doing. And I'm pretty sure He wasn't just trying to stress me out.
So, no more complaining.
Or much less complaining, anyway.
(This is my form of therapy, after all.)
Thank you for the sweet card, Vicki. It was just what I needed. :)