I got this email forward today. It's a bit of a stretch, but rather appropriate for this year...
What is Cold?
65 above zero:
Floridians turn on the heat.
People in Kansas plant gardens.
60 above zero:
Californians shiver uncontrollably.
People in Kansas sunbathe.
50 above zero:
Italian & English cars won't start.
People in Kansas drive with the windows down.
40 above zero:
Georgians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, wool hats.
People in Kansas throw on a flannel shirt.
35 above zero:
New York landlords finally turn up the heat.
People in Kansas have the last cookout before it gets cold.
20 above Zero:
People in Miami all die.
Kansans close the windows.
Californians fly away to Mexico .
People in Kansas get out their winter coats.
10 below zero:
The Girl Scouts in Kansas are selling cookies door to door.
20 below zero:
Washington DC runs out of hot air.
People in Kansas let the dogs sleep indoors.
30 below zero:
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
Kansans get upset because they can't start the Snow-mobile.
40 below zero:
ALL atomic motion stops.
People in Kansas start saying...'Cold enough for ya?'
50 below zero:
Hell freezes over.
Kansas public schools will open 2 hours late